at least SOMEONE laughs at my jokes. it’s me. i laugh at my own jokes.
that boy you just called gay? well he is gay. he’s your boyfriend. both of you are gay. how do you keep forgetting this, jeffery
"i can’t eat that, i’ll get fat"
"i can’t sleep in late today i have to do work"
"no i can’t watch a whole season in one go that’s lazy"
I want a superhero movie where the hero dies in the first ten minutes and the woman who was supposed to be the love interest puts on his costume and becomes an even better hero.
I want all of the advertising to be for the hero and none of the marketing to even allude to this death.
imagine all the male tears
i feel like mr. brightside is one of those songs you’re gonna hear on the radio in the car 20 years from now after not hearing it in forever and your gonna just start sobbing bUT ITS JUST THE PRICE I PAY DESTINY IS CALLLLINGNG M E and your kids are gonna be like is she okay
favorite character meme:  favorite character
calling me “thirsty” isn’t even an insult it’s a known fact
You are my candy girl. And you got me wanting you.
thats a cool skeleton fresh from skeleton hell
Painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk